Take Me As I Am

i’ve had a tumblr for almost four years now and i still find myself going on almost every day and scrolling down my homepage for hours. it entertains me and relaxes me. what more can i ask?

“It hurts until it doesn’t. You think it’s going to break you, but it won’t. You may not sleep as well at night, but you will be fine. Numb, but numb and fine are the same.”
— (via ansceniclfc)

(Source: splitterherzen, via takemoretea)



Gilmore Girls (Oct. 5th, 2000 -  May 15th, 2007)

The show that gave us 7 great years has been over for 7 years today. So here is the ending scenes to both the first and last episode. No Matter how long this show is off the air it will always bring me joy and laughter whenever I watch it. 

I need more seasons.

(Source: carolineforbbs, via south-of-knowing-why)


Cute boys are an endangered species 

(via naturallynautical)



They must have the most ridiculous sex ever

*most incredible sex ever

(Source: glennnrhee, via xdevreneex)

my grandmother

this morning i was sitting in my web design class and because i’m a senior my final project is to do a website that is basically a portfolio of all my work. because of this i was going through my computer trying to find pieces of scripts i can put on the site. i found a script i’ve been working on (its been a while because i’ve been so busy with school) that i completely forgot about, about a teenage girl who had an extremely close relationship with her grandfather and he passes away right before her graduation. 

i started writing this script long before my grandmother got sick, but it was still very difficult to sit down and read. i got to a scene i’d written about how he was supposed to be sitting in the audience cheering her on at her graduation, telling her how proud he was of her and how excited he was for the next stage of her life. i burst out crying in the middle of class.

i remember writing this scene maybe two years ago and not even thinking about the possibility of it happening to me. it didn’t even occur to me.
my grandmother was such a huge part of my life. she helped raise me. she did everything she could for me. i have a really hard time talking to most people (i find it easy to talk to like 3 people) and she was very easy to talk to. when i had a huge meltdown freshman year of college she let me come live with her because i needed a break from my life. i will absolutely never forget those two weeks that i spent with her, which only ended because i went to israel. to say that she would do anything for me is an understatement.

shortly after getting off the phone with my mother i went downstairs to my friend’s room and told him what happened. i sat next to him on his bed, crying, and told him how yes, i knew she was sick. and yes i knew she wouldn’t be able to come to my graduation anymore because she was too sick to fly. but i thought that because she lasted so much longer than she was ever supposed to that she would be alive on my graduation day and i would be able to call her and have her tell me how proud she was of me. that was all i wanted, was to talk to her that day. and now i can’t. its not right. i vented to him for a while and then said i wasn’t going to class. he agreed with me me and i ended up spending the day with him, his mom and his niece shopping for a suit for him for our graduation because he lost so much weight this past summer he doesn’t fit into his suit anymore. it was the perfect distraction. especially since everywhere we went his niece was trying to get me to shop for a dress and i kept telling her it would just be a giant tease because i couldn’t buy it yet. nonetheless, they distracted me.  

why couldn’t she last another few weeks? there were so many things for her to look forward to and she just had to be taken the first night of passover, ruining passover for my family. 

there are so many things i want to say but nothing else is coming out yet. i guess a week was enough time to let this out, maybe another week will help bring more. 


do you ever get random bursts of confidence and plan to do something then later wither in shyness

(Source: wishingskiesofbllue, via thepastbeginstofade)

““Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn’t it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life…You give them a piece of you. They didn’t ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn’t your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like ‘maybe we should be just friends’ turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It’s a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.” - Neil Gaiman”